Thursday, October 22, 2009

CTA Story #1 - The World is Your Bathroom

It was winter in Chicago and I was taking the Red Line back from my girlfriend's place.  It was around 11pm on a weekday, so the car was fairly empty; only me and a few late-shift workers heading home for the day.  Normally I'd be below ground, but there was construction going on (you'll find that to be a common theme), so we were being re-routed on the elevated tracks.  Being re-routed always adds a few minutes to my trip, but that's not what this particular story is about.

When we get downtown, a new guy walks on to the car.  He seems normal enough, but once we start moving, he walks over to me and asks, "Hey, man.  Can you watch my bag?  I got's to take a piss."  Thinking I heard him wrong, I asked that he repeat the question.  Nope, didn't hear wrong, "C'mon man.  I just got's to take a piss real quick."  Not wanting to be rude, and admittedly somewhat curious what was going to happen, I agree to watch his bag.  What does he do?  Walks in between the cars and takes a piss off the moving train.  As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, he walks back in and thanks me for watching his bag.  No problem, sir.  It was my pleasure.

Now, in case you missed it, this guy TOOK A PISS WHILE IN BETWEEN CARS ON AN ELEVATED TRAIN.  What's the moral of this story?  You know how you'll sometimes walk under the tracks and something wet will drip on your head?  Yeah, you've just been peed on.  Thanks, CTA, that's definitely worth $110/month.

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