Creepo got all of the attorneys in my office champagne for Christmas. Somehow, Secretary 1 and I were left off of his list. There must have been some mistake.
Creepo must have forgotten how well I pick up his salad and iced tea from Salad Spinners every time he's in our office. Perhaps he doesn't realize that I'm the one who has to file all of his bullshit lawsuits. Maybe Creepo also forgot the important role Secretary 1 plays in helping my boss dodge his phone calls. Whatever the reason, we were not deemed worthy of receiving a bottle of champagne.
So, Creepo, Secretary 1 and I would like to tell you to go fuck yourself this Christmas. We hope Santa gave you a lump of coal and then berated you for filing numerous retaliatory lawsuits.