Thursday, February 25, 2010

You get what you pay for

I think Attorney 2 just tried to teach me a lesson on how to be a good lawyer.  He failed.

Attorney 2: We need all of these documents from the Recorder.
Me: Really?  I got all of these docs for you last year.  Can't we just use those?
Attorney 2: Well, we need to make sure they're all there.
Me: I'm pretty sure they're all there, unless you lost some of them, which is possible.  Do you seriously want me to do this entire search all over again?  It was a huge, time-consuming, pain in the ass the first time.
Attorney 2: Well, what do you think?  We have a client that needs to know the answer to a question.  Do you think we can tell them we're "pretty sure" or do you need to do it again?
Me: Ok, dick, I'm going to change my answer to, "I'm positive they're all there."
Attorney 2: Really?  Have you looked through the folder with the documents in it? 
Me: Of course I looked through the folder.  All of the documents are there.  But, mainly,there's just no way I'm going to do this whole search over again.
Attorney 2: So, you'd be comfortable giving the client this answer?
Me: You bet.  Like I care.  I'm not a lawyer here, so it's not like my name goes on anything. 
Attorney 2: Blah, blah, blah...role of a lawyer...responsibility to our clients...lesson to be learned...
Me: I'll go double check the folder and get back to you.  That's the answer you were looking for and I can leave now, right?

The lesson I got out of this: You get what you pay for.  If you want me to give a damn, you're going to have to give me a lawyer job and/or pay me a lot more.


  1. Attorney 2 meant to say, "I have to bill the shit out of this case, so do the search again because that takes time and time is money. BTW, even though you're a clerk, we bill you out as an attorney at $225 an hour."

  2. Valid point. I'm actually only billed out at $100/hour. Which is roughly 6.66 times what I make in an hour. Funny how that works out.

  3. Why don't they hire you on as an attorney?

  4. Can't afford to, otherwise they would. Attorney 4 is actually leaving within the next year or so, so if I wait it out, I'll get her job. But, I really don't want to sit around for another year.

  5. I would totally hire a lawyer whose attitude is "I don't give a shit until you pay me a magical amount that you will never know, given that I already agreed to do the job for the amount you offered."

  6. I have that attitude about working for anyone other than myself. If you don't pay me enough to make you 1st priority, I will be taking side jobs & you could end up lower on the totem pole. Not worth my time to dress up daily if I'm not making 6 figures; thank God I work in a more casual industry.