Monday, October 18, 2010

Bitter women, take note

Secretary 2 never stops talking.  One of her favorite subjects is how much she hates men.  She also likes to time some of her comments to coincide with the men in our office walking past her desk.  I know, that sounds too retarded to be true, but I'm not making it up.

Today, she let out this gem as I was walking by: "Men just aren't designed to be faithful for fifty years."

Yes, we know your ex-husband cheated on you.  Let it go.

Secretary 2, I'm going to let you in on a little secret - we're ALL on his side.  Not because we're not designed to be faithful, but because you're an insufferable hag who's constant belittling would drive any man to cheat.

Honestly, if I had to listen to your bitching and moaning day in and day out, I would hurl myself off the nearest cliff.  In that sense, you should count yourself lucky that he only cheated on you.  This way he has to pay alimony and child support AND you have a perfect scapegoat for your failed marriage.

Oh, one last thing.  Do you know what he's thinking every time he signs part of his paycheck over to you, while sitting in his blissfully quiet and hag-free apartment?  Totally worth it.


  1. As a wise man once said "Why are divorces so expensive? Because they are worth it."

    And with all due respect to your female audience (and not all women fit into this category, of course), why are so many bitter? I work with a few 30-something women who are single. They all bitch about how men are dogs who have "commitment issues." Of course, these ladies never stop to think that perhaps it might be THEM that causes men to hesitate about entering into a committed relationship. If their attitudes at work are any indication, their homes must be nonstop bitching festivals. Who would want to come home to that?

  2. If a woman wants a man to commit to her, then almost always she must settle. By "settle," I mean that she must end up with a man who is less attractive, sexually, than a man she could have a short term relationship with.

    Put another way, women can usually "date up" if they want to. For example, a girl who is a 6 in attractiveness can usually seduce a man who is a 9 in attractiveness, although he will probably disappear the next day.

    Many girls make the mistake of dating the most sexually attractive men they can, and hoping that one of them will commit to her. Of course this usually doesn't work. It's mathematically impossible.

    What these ladies really should be doing is dating only men who are commitment-oriented and trying to find one who is reasonably attractive.

  3. 9:45

    I understand your point and agree with some of it. However, I disagree that most women must "settle" for a man to commit to her. To use your example, I don't think a women who is a 6 in attractiveness is settling for a man is also a 6. By definition, I think they are equals in terms of attractiveness (which of course is very subjective).

    I think the problem most women have is twofold: (1) they consider committing to a man who is equally attractive, as opposed to more attractive, to be settling; and (2) like you said, most men are willing to casually date a women who is less attractive for the easy sex but will never enter into a long term commitment with her.

    Sadly, most women don't understand the second point. Although the more cynical side of me - a few years of practicing law can do that to you - would also suggest that some women consider themselves to be so "special" that they can land a 9 despite being a 6 herself. Relatedly, women tend to feel entitled to a "9" for no apparent reason.

  4. "To use your example, I don't think a women who is a 6 in attractiveness is settling for a man is also a 6"

    I suppose it depends on how you define the word "settle." As you point out, many women in such a situation will feel that they are settling.

    And that feeling is very seductive (so to speak). After all, our hypothetical 6 female regularly dates very attractive men, many of whom have learned to hint at the possibility of a long term committed relationship in order to smooth the path to her bed.

    "Relatedly, women tend to feel entitled to a '9' for no apparent reason."

    There seems to be some kind of cognitive bias at work here. The princess syndrome seems to strike a lot of men and women both.

    Maybe it's a result of the self esteem movement. But our hypothetical 6 female believes at some level that she is a 9, that it's natural and proper for her to date male 9s, and that none of these men will commit to her because men in general are ultra-commitment-phobic.

  5. "Sadly, most women don't understand the second point. Although the more cynical side of me - a few years of practicing law can do that to you - would also suggest that some women consider themselves to be so "special" that they can land a 9 despite being a 6 herself. Relatedly, women tend to feel entitled to a "9" for no apparent reason. "

    LOL! And in my head all I can picture is the guy I saw on the beach this summer in a speedo - hairy back, protruding gut, and cheesy mustache displayed for all to see, strutting around like he was god's gift. You think men don't overestimate themselves??? Women are almost always the ones willing to overlook physical appearance - the Beauty & the Beast syndrome. Men are much more likely to delude themselves that they're "equal".

  6. This is the previous poster who has been quoted. I totally agree that SOME men overestimate themselves, but most have a more realistic view. It could be that the hairy speedo guy just doesn't care what people think. I find it unlikely that this dude has any deranged notions that a Victoria's Secret model is waiting for him to come into her life.

    I think that most people would agree, however, that women suffer from a phobia of "settling" far more than men do. I read a recent article about how if a man finds a women who has 80% of what he is looking for in a partner, he is happy. Women, on the other hand, think that if a partner has 80% of what they are looking for, they are settling. This article explains it all.

    So the point is that men, while being more superficial with regard to looks, have a more realistic view regarding potential partners.

  7. To follow up on my previous post, here is another article that makes the same point. When it comes to dating women often receive the following advice:

    "“You deserve to be with a man who pays.” “You deserve a man who always puts your first.” “You deserve to be with a man who rubs your feet at night.” And of course the man in question will also be tall, dark, and handsome."

    This would be equivalent men of getting the advice:

    "“You deserve to be with a super model. You deserve to get blow jobs every day. You deserve to be with a woman who will fly around the country and go to football games with you.” Okay, jokingly…I may have given this advice. But like most men, I’ve always been a realist. I know that this type of woman doesn’t doesn’t exist, and if she does…she’s already taken."

    Here is the full article:

  8. It's true that some men suffer from the reverse-princess syndrome, but the problem is much more acute with girls for a couple reasons:

    Primarily, as noted above, a woman really can date up if she wants to. A girl who is a 6 really can date and bed men who are 9s. When things don't work out, it's easy enough to fool herself into thinking the problem is that men are commitment-phobic. Or that she just had bad luck.

    Second, women enjoy a huge natural bump in their sexual attractiveness from their late teens until their late 20s. This gives them an extra opportunity to punch above their weight class, so to speak.

    It's somewhat common for women to pull a "Sex and the City," i.e. to take the attitude that they will party during their 20s and then seriously start looking for a husband in their early or even mid-30s. By then, their sexual attractiveness has faded quite a bit.

    The idea that Mr. Bigg will commit to an aging Carrie Bradshaw is a bit of a fantasy. If Mr. Bigg is going to commit to anyone, why not take some 23-year-old?

  9. Not to betray my gender or anything, but a friend once said to me, "Nearly all women are two out of the following three things. Beautiful, sane, smart. You get one who is beautiful and smart, but she's nuts. You get one who is super smart and totally together, but not so hot."

    Look around, it's often true. Women who have all three are rare.

    It all balances out somehow, like how people who are smart and sane tend to get better looking. Gorgeous psychos get less attractive over time.

    I am way grateful that my hubby picked me, he is SO much hotter than I am.

  10. Wow, that prompted more comments than I expected. As my girlfriend said, I should start a relationship blog. It would be pretty popular.

  11. Update: My girlfriend claims to have been misquoted.