Thursday, March 3, 2011

Unemployment ground rules

Having been unemployed for a day now, I feel like I'm going to need to set up some basic ground rules just in case this lasts for a while.

Unemployment Rule #1: Don't buy booze in handles.

Two nights and half a handle of bourbon into unemployment, I've realized that I can't be trusted with handles of booze.  Bottles?  Fine.  I can keep track of how much I've had to drink based on how much is left in the bottle.  Handles?  Nope.  I just keep going because the level of liquid never seems to change.

As long as I don't have anywhere to be the next day, for the sake of my health, I'm probably going to need several more rules about how much and how often I'm allowed to drink.


  1. Damn, dude. I never thought I would feel this sorry for you. I've been on the "D Stands For Dickhead" train for a long time, but you do not deserve the string of bad luck you are enduring.

    Take care of yourself. Booze can ease the pain, no doubt, but it can easily make things worse. Please be careful, seriously.

  2. When I was unemployed, my biggest rule was to never sleep past noon.

  3. Quit worrying so much. Our generation, and I include anyone under 35, is absolutely fucked. Our destiny is a life of hustling for dollars and insecurity. Also - fuck the baby boomers! Boomers wrecked the economy and now say with a smug face that all of us need to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. Yeah, easy for them to say since they had opportunity in an era where few had education and the economy basked in credit.

  4. Past noon? I've been up at 6am for the past three days. I'm seriously not cut out for unemployment.

  5. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.