Didn't think I'd have another story about Tamika, the previously mentioned Cook County worker, this quickly. Luckily, I do.
Tamika: Ugh (scratching), these desk-mites are really getting to me today!
Tamika: You know, desk-mites. They crawl all around desks and bite you.
Me: (backing up) What?!
Tamika: Yeah, sometimes people have to go to the doctor because they swell up from the bites.
Me: (about two feet away from her counter) What?!
Tamika: County worker X says she always strips before she gets in her door so she doesn't bring them into her house.
Me: I need a new job.
Seriously. I need a new job.