Just had a phone interview for some random job. Here are some of the questions they asked (Q), my answers (A1), and what I wanted to say (A2):
Q: Good morning.
A1: Good morning.
A2: Hire me, pleeease!
Q: What's the hardest part of you job?
A1: Interacting with court officials. They are such an over-worked group of people that it can be difficult getting them to give my material sufficient attention. I try to make sure our clients' best interests are served and doing so is a daily challenge.
A2: Not drinking myself to sleep every night. Does that still count? I know it's not during working hours, but it's still job related.
Q: Do you have any interaction with other people at your current job?
A1: Yes. I interact daily with our clients, via telephone and email, in order to keep up to date on the status of various cases. As I mentioned earlier, I also interact with court officials.
A2: Did you not listen to my previous answer? You're seriously just reading questions from a sheet aren't you?
Q: Why do you want to work for X?
A1: Because your company seems to be an excellent place to start a career. This department in particular has piqued my interest for a variety of reasons...
A2: Because it's not here.
Q: Why are you interested in a support position?
A1: My current position is a support position and it is something at which I excel. I would like to apply those skills to a position with your organization.
A2: I'm very supportive. Like a an I-beam or your mom. Was that a serious question?
Q: What is the best part of your job?
A1: I enjoy knowing that I'm providing a valuable service to our clients. Though it can be tedious, I take comfort in the fact that my role is important and our clients could not function without me.
A2: My co-workers drink.
Q: What is the worst part of your job and how do you deal with it?
A1: As I mentioned, parts can be tedious. I just take a moment to reflect on the importance of the service I'm providing and the valuable role I play in our firm and for our clients.
A2: The soul-crushing monotony. I work out until I feel like I'm going to die - it helps me forget about my day. Oh, and I drink.
Q: What are your salary requirements?
A1: X dollars/year
A2: A salary.
Q: Do you have any questions?
A1: (fill in a few meaningful and highly relevant questions)
A2: Not really. I already know you'll pay me more than this job and I'll get benefits. I'm pretty much sold.