Friday, March 12, 2010


St. Patrick's Day is hands down, no questions asked, my favorite drinking holiday.  I suppose it all started back at U of I where we had "Unofficial St. Patrick's Day."  What makes a 10am philosophy class better?  Being drunk for a 10am philosophy class.  Anyway, here's a brief list of reasons why St. Patrick's Day is my favorite.

1) Day-Drinking.  It's the best kind of drinking.
2) Nobody judges me.  When is it socially acceptable to start drinking on St. Patrick's Day?  Whenever you damned well please.  When is it socially acceptable to stop?  Whenever you pass out.  Nobody is going to give you a nickname like, "Mr. Midnight," for being done early (thanks again for that, asshole).
3) Green beer.  There's just something about "greenness" that makes cheap beer taste better.  I think it's like when you tell a kid his crappy toy is something unique just so he likes it more.  Yeah, it's definitely like that.
4) The Chicago River gets dyed green.  I don't know if you know this or not, but, back in the day, they actually reversed the flow of the Chicago River.  You think that's impressive?  Well, hold on to your hats, because now we can turn the River green.  Is that progress, or what?
5) Public intoxication.  What's more fun than being drunk in a bar?  Being drunk in public.  Yeah, I suppose I could do that any day, but I'll have a lot more company on St. Pat's Day.
6) Bacon.  You know how they say everything is better with bacon?  It's even true about beer.  Bacon is to green beer in the morning what peanuts are to normal beer at night.  It's the perfect compliment.  It's delicious, salty, easy to eat, and makes you want to drink more.  What could be better?  If the party I'm at doesn't have bacon, there will be hell to pay.

No comments:

Post a Comment