I've had a little bit of a stressful week. I don't even know where to start on this mess, so here's a series of conversations that happened at my work at the end of last week. Those of you who like to insult me will absolutely love this.
Dick Boss: You're still fucking everything up to the point where I can't trust you to handle your cases. This isn't a demotion, but I'm taking all of your cases away from you.
Office Manager: Yeah.
Dick Boss: We just got a ton of collections cases and we hired some old lawyer to work on them part time. We were going to hire someone to help him out, but, instead, we're moving you to that position and hiring someone new to do your old job.
Office Manager: Yeah.
Dick Boss: Any questions?
Me: I wouldn't even know where to start.
Thursday late afternoon
Me: Hey, what the fuck happened?
Office Manager: You can't be trusted on your cases.
Me: Helpful. Who's going to be handling them?
Office Manager: We've been thinking about hiring this new guy.
Me: Anything else I should know?
Office Manager: Not really.
Secretary: Why is your stuff in that office?
Secretary: That isn't your office anymore.
Secretary: It's the new guy's office. D, meet the new guy.
Me: Seriously? He starts today? What? Fine. Where is my new office.
Secretary: You're sharing one with Old Lawyer.
Other Associate: I need to talk to you.
Me: Is this about what I think it is?
Other Associate: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?! I go to your office this morning and somebody else is there. What the fuck?!?
Me: Well, evidently, I am fucking everything up and can't be trusted with my cases. I take it you didn't hear about this. Thoughts?
Other Associate: This if fucking ridiculous.
Other Associate: Listen, as far as I'm concerned, you're doing fine. Everything you do is getting consistently better and I can only think of one thing you actually fucked up. And that was on your second day.
Me: Thanks. I didn't think you were in on this.
Other Associate: If you're looking for a new job, and I assume you will be after this, feel free to use me as a reference.
I am now sitting at a conference table in the corner of a windowless office I share with some old lawyer. And, I'm doing collections. This has not been a good week.