Just give it a while.
Fortified wine is the cheapest way to get alcohol into your blood. That's why they're called winos and not beeros. You may have hit a new low, but you're cleary nowhere close to the bottom.
Ordinarily I read this blog for the delicious schadenfreude, but this is almost too pathetic to bear. I feel sorry for you. This is a level of loserdom that nobody should go through, even those people who weren't smart enough to realize that TTT law schools are a bad financial decision.But at least you're not fat, right? That's a whole group of people you can feel superior to right there. Just try to forget that wealthy, successful fat guys have an easier time with the ladies than you ever will, using your JD education in a GED job.