I had often wondered why my neighborhood is constantly littered with chicken bones. I know there's a Harold's Chicken Shack pretty close and Jewel sells wings, but how do they end up on the sidewalk? There are a few bars in the area and it's not like I have to dodge beer bottles and hamburger patties with every step. What gives with the chicken bones? It remained a mystery until I saw the process in person yesterday. Allow me to walk you through it.
Step 1: Grow up in a barn.
Step 2: Wonder if dressing exclusively in "Baby Phat" clothing makes you look trashy.
Step 3: Decide it does not.
Step 4: Go to Jewel and buy a box of wings.
Step 5: Leave Jewel.
Step 6: Replace wallet and cell phone in cleavage.
Step 7: Commence eating said wings while walking down the sidewalk.
Step 8: Discard bones on sidewalk. That way you can find your way back to Jewel. It's like the trash version of a breadcrumb trail.
Step 9: Wipe greasy hands on shirt.
Step 10: Bring any extra wings back to your illegitimate children.