I deal with a lot of stupid shit stemming from a failure to communicate. This kind of stuff wouldn't even bother me if people would stop giving me attitude during the process.
Me: I'm having some trouble reading the names on the lease you sent me. It looks like Bob Smith and Joe ____. Can you help me out with the second name?
Client: Felix Meyers.
Me: For unit 2?
Client: Yes. Felix Meyers.
Me: ...I feel like we're looking at different leases.
Client: No, we not. Tha second renter is Felix Meyers.
Me: It really looks like this second name is Joe someone.
Client: It is.
Me: So...I'm confused.
Client: Dey's tha renters. Bob Smith an' Felix Meyers.
Me: So, who is Joe ___?
Client: *sigh* He moved out.
Me: Oh. So, Felix Meyers moved in?
Client: How else he live there?
Me: Ok...does Felix have a lease?
Client: *sigh* Is his name on the lease?
Me: No...
Client: Then he ain't got no lease!
Me: So, Bob Smith and Joe ____ are on the lease. Bob still lives there, but Joe does not, even though his name is still on the lease. Felix is the new resident...who does not have a lease?
Client: That's what I said.
Me: Of course. I don't know why I was confused.
Showing posts with label Idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiots. Show all posts
Friday, October 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
You might be white trash if...
If you're a middle-aged woman, working at the Daley Center, and you wear a white t-shirt that reads, "This shirt looks better wet."
Come to think of it, no matter what your age/gender/occupation, you're probably white trash if you wear that t-shirt.
Come to think of it, no matter what your age/gender/occupation, you're probably white trash if you wear that t-shirt.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
My bad
In a previous post, I criticized one of our clients for sending me an email, which included a string of earlier email correspondence that I wasn't intended to see. I really should have learned from that experience.
Today, Attorney 6 asked that I contact a company we work with, regarding a somewhat petulant and unreasonable request. Specifically, a document he requested wasn't in his in-box immediately, and he wanted to know why.
Because I'm on pretty good terms with the people at said company, my email to them was something to the effect of, "I'm sorry to bother you about this, but Attorney 6 really has his panties in a bunch over this document. If you could double check that it's on its way, that would be great. Thanks!"
As luck would have it, they copied Attorney 6 in their reply, and my original email was included. Granted, what I actually wrote wasn't really all that bad. But, it was condescending enough that I would have preferred that it not be sent to Attorney 6.
I like to think I can admit when I've made an ass of myself. This is definitely one of those times.
Today, Attorney 6 asked that I contact a company we work with, regarding a somewhat petulant and unreasonable request. Specifically, a document he requested wasn't in his in-box immediately, and he wanted to know why.
Because I'm on pretty good terms with the people at said company, my email to them was something to the effect of, "I'm sorry to bother you about this, but Attorney 6 really has his panties in a bunch over this document. If you could double check that it's on its way, that would be great. Thanks!"
As luck would have it, they copied Attorney 6 in their reply, and my original email was included. Granted, what I actually wrote wasn't really all that bad. But, it was condescending enough that I would have preferred that it not be sent to Attorney 6.
I like to think I can admit when I've made an ass of myself. This is definitely one of those times.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Annoying client
I recently had a string of email correspondence with a particularly annoying client. Because he's indecisive and very worried about doing things correctly, I had to do a series of revisions on a document which most clients just sign without thinking about it.
I'm not talking about major revisions. I'm talking about little stuff, like changing someone's title from "Manager" to "Agent" and changing a name from "Bob" to "Robert." Regardless, I got everything changed and finally got him to approve of the document.
Here's the problem: I have no idea what he did with the final draft, but I certainly don't have it. All I have is a signed document that seriously looks like this:
How?!? How is this an appropriate thing to send me after I spent all that time fixing it? I just don't get people sometimes.
I'm not talking about major revisions. I'm talking about little stuff, like changing someone's title from "Manager" to "Agent" and changing a name from "Bob" to "Robert." Regardless, I got everything changed and finally got him to approve of the document.
Here's the problem: I have no idea what he did with the final draft, but I certainly don't have it. All I have is a signed document that seriously looks like this:
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Legs
As you may have noticed, I consider myself a bit of an amateur photographer. I call this one, "Legs are Overrated"
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Visualization
Conversation with one of our clients regarding a new collections matter:
Me: Hey, your budget sheet has this deadbeat living in Unit 1; whereas, you have been sending all correspondence to Unit 2. I'm a bit curious as to where he actually lives.
Client: He doesn't live in this country.
Me: Ok, my fault, that was way too open ended of a question. Let me try again - which unit, in this particular building, does he own?
Client: Hang on, I'm on my roof, let me visualize this.
Me: Ok...
Client: ...so I'm facing the street...there's no unit on the right...he's got to be on the left...He owns Unit 1S.
Me: Works for me. FYI, you've been sending all correspondence to Unit 2S.Given your excellent visualization skills, I have no idea how this mistake could have been made.
Me: Hey, your budget sheet has this deadbeat living in Unit 1; whereas, you have been sending all correspondence to Unit 2. I'm a bit curious as to where he actually lives.
Client: He doesn't live in this country.
Me: Ok, my fault, that was way too open ended of a question. Let me try again - which unit, in this particular building, does he own?
Client: Hang on, I'm on my roof, let me visualize this.
Me: Ok...
Client: ...so I'm facing the street...there's no unit on the right...he's got to be on the left...He owns Unit 1S.
Me: Works for me. FYI, you've been sending all correspondence to Unit 2S.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
You are why I hate people
On my way to work, I passed by a traffic cop. He was just strolling down the sidewalk, whistling to himself and enjoying a beautiful morning. Clearly, he was not looking to give someone a ticket. All of a sudden, some lady pulled up into a clearly labeled tow away zone on the other side of the street.
The traffic cop sees this, whistles and waves to get the lady's attention, and then gestures for her to drive away because she obviously couldn't be there. As if this would solve the problem, she pulls up enough so that she's only halfway in the tow away zone. The traffic cop just kept waving for her to drive away because, seriously lady, it's a clearly marked tow away zone.
What does she do? She flips him off, slams her car in reverse, almost hits a guy with a stroller and then guns it down the street.
Fuck you, lady. How is that an appropriate reaction? You're why I hate people.
The traffic cop and I just stood there for a minute, staring at each other and shaking our heads in disbelief. Luckily, the he had started to walk toward her car when this happened, so he was in the perfect place to jot down her license plate number. I hope they send someone to her house to punch her in the face.
The traffic cop sees this, whistles and waves to get the lady's attention, and then gestures for her to drive away because she obviously couldn't be there. As if this would solve the problem, she pulls up enough so that she's only halfway in the tow away zone. The traffic cop just kept waving for her to drive away because, seriously lady, it's a clearly marked tow away zone.
What does she do? She flips him off, slams her car in reverse, almost hits a guy with a stroller and then guns it down the street.
Fuck you, lady. How is that an appropriate reaction? You're why I hate people.
The traffic cop and I just stood there for a minute, staring at each other and shaking our heads in disbelief. Luckily, the he had started to walk toward her car when this happened, so he was in the perfect place to jot down her license plate number. I hope they send someone to her house to punch her in the face.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Who does this?
Yesterday, I was in the law library at the Daley Center when I stumbled across this scene:
I'm no stranger to sleeping in libraries, but I can't figure out if this guy is retarded or has completely mastered the technique. I'm leaning towards retarded.
At the same time, so many questions come to mind. Is he a lawyer? If so, what does that say? What was the tipping point that made him think taking a full-on nap, on an air vent, in public was a good idea? Did he start out at the table and the move to the vent? Or, did he go directly to the vent? Does he do this regularly? Does he not mind the stares? Is it comfortable?
Perhaps most unsettling: Is this what my future looks like? I mean, I am killing time by reading a book in the library when I should be working. Are we really that different? Is fat, alone, and asleep on a vent in a library a disturbing glimpse into my future? Dear God, I hope not.
Once again, yes, I'm that dick taking pictures of idiots. This may be why my girlfriend doesn't let me take pictures with my phone when she's around.
At the same time, so many questions come to mind. Is he a lawyer? If so, what does that say? What was the tipping point that made him think taking a full-on nap, on an air vent, in public was a good idea? Did he start out at the table and the move to the vent? Or, did he go directly to the vent? Does he do this regularly? Does he not mind the stares? Is it comfortable?
Perhaps most unsettling: Is this what my future looks like? I mean, I am killing time by reading a book in the library when I should be working. Are we really that different? Is fat, alone, and asleep on a vent in a library a disturbing glimpse into my future? Dear God, I hope not.
Once again, yes, I'm that dick taking pictures of idiots. This may be why my girlfriend doesn't let me take pictures with my phone when she's around.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Chicken wings
I had often wondered why my neighborhood is constantly littered with chicken bones. I know there's a Harold's Chicken Shack pretty close and Jewel sells wings, but how do they end up on the sidewalk? There are a few bars in the area and it's not like I have to dodge beer bottles and hamburger patties with every step. What gives with the chicken bones? It remained a mystery until I saw the process in person yesterday. Allow me to walk you through it.
Step 1: Grow up in a barn.
Step 2: Wonder if dressing exclusively in "Baby Phat" clothing makes you look trashy.
Step 3: Decide it does not.
Step 4: Go to Jewel and buy a box of wings.
Step 5: Leave Jewel.
Step 6: Replace wallet and cell phone in cleavage.
Step 7: Commence eating said wings while walking down the sidewalk.
Step 8: Discard bones on sidewalk. That way you can find your way back to Jewel. It's like the trash version of a breadcrumb trail.
Step 9: Wipe greasy hands on shirt.
Step 10: Bring any extra wings back to your illegitimate children.
Step 1: Grow up in a barn.
Step 2: Wonder if dressing exclusively in "Baby Phat" clothing makes you look trashy.
Step 3: Decide it does not.
Step 4: Go to Jewel and buy a box of wings.
Step 5: Leave Jewel.
Step 6: Replace wallet and cell phone in cleavage.
Step 7: Commence eating said wings while walking down the sidewalk.
Step 8: Discard bones on sidewalk. That way you can find your way back to Jewel. It's like the trash version of a breadcrumb trail.
Step 9: Wipe greasy hands on shirt.
Step 10: Bring any extra wings back to your illegitimate children.
Monday, January 25, 2010
I shouldn't have to mention this
Ladies, your bra is not an extra pocket. For those of you who don't believe me, let me say it again. Your bra IS NOT an extra pocket.
I mention this because, today, I saw some fat lady reach into her bra and pull out her wallet, keys and cell phone. She didn't just reach in and pull them out. She had to go fishing. It was a solid ten seconds of "feeling around" before she was able to locate all of her stuff. Hands down the grossest thing I've seen in a while.
I know, you see women in movies pull things out of their bras all the time. This does not make it appropriate. Odds are they are way better looking than you, and they are pulling out something appropriately sized, i.e., not their car keys. So, unless you are crazy hot and stashing a few hundred dollar bills, don't even consider it. Even then, maybe just bring a wallet.
I mention this because, today, I saw some fat lady reach into her bra and pull out her wallet, keys and cell phone. She didn't just reach in and pull them out. She had to go fishing. It was a solid ten seconds of "feeling around" before she was able to locate all of her stuff. Hands down the grossest thing I've seen in a while.
I know, you see women in movies pull things out of their bras all the time. This does not make it appropriate. Odds are they are way better looking than you, and they are pulling out something appropriately sized, i.e., not their car keys. So, unless you are crazy hot and stashing a few hundred dollar bills, don't even consider it. Even then, maybe just bring a wallet.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Swallowing my pride
I hate admitting I'm wrong - particularly when I'm not. This is an issue for me in normal life and it's even more pronounced at work. My job might be menial, but I do it very well and I take offense to people telling me I've done something wrong. Unfortunately, that's not something I'm supposed to convey to our clients (yesterday's post being a minor slip up). Here's an email conversation between me and an annoying client:
Me: Here are the documents.
Client: There are a number of errors that need to be corrected before I sign this.
Me:No, actually, there aren't any errors in this document. You don't read very carefully and thus don't understand that these "errors" are actually addressed elsewhere in the document. Thank you for pointing out the mistakes. I will correct the errors and get the documents back to you ASAP.
Sending that email sucked.
Me: Here are the documents.
Client: There are a number of errors that need to be corrected before I sign this.
Me:
Sending that email sucked.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Don't argue with me
Some twat recently called to complain that I had fucked something up and, unfortunately, ended up talking to me on the phone.
Client: You guys screwed this up. This is the second time it has happened and I'm going to be a HUGE bitch about it!
Me: I don't recall it happening the first time, but I'll go check and see what could have happened this time.
Client: You do that.
Me: It appears as though YOU sent us the wrong information.
Client: That couldn't be possible.
Me: Allow me to email you what you sent us.
Client: Oh.
Me: So, who screwed this up?
Client: It was a mutual mistake, really.
Me: Really?
Client: Well...
Me: Say it.
Client: ...
Me: Say it!
Client: I screwed it up.
Me: Thank you.
I really shouldn't be allowed to talk to clients.
Client: You guys screwed this up. This is the second time it has happened and I'm going to be a HUGE bitch about it!
Me: I don't recall it happening the first time, but I'll go check and see what could have happened this time.
Client: You do that.
Me: It appears as though YOU sent us the wrong information.
Client: That couldn't be possible.
Me: Allow me to email you what you sent us.
Client: Oh.
Me: So, who screwed this up?
Client: It was a mutual mistake, really.
Me: Really?
Client: Well...
Me: Say it.
Client: ...
Me: Say it!
Client: I screwed it up.
Me: Thank you.
I really shouldn't be allowed to talk to clients.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Peanut beer
This didn't really fit in my last post, but I think it's worth mentioning. Here's a conversation between the idiot sitting next to me and the guy sitting behind me:
Random Guy: Aw man, there's a bunch of peanut shells in my beer. I'm not drinking this shit.
Idiot: Dude, are you not drinking your beer?!?!
Random Guy: Nah. There's peanut shells in it. Why? You want it?
Idiot: Hell yeah, man! I'll take the peanut-beer!
Random Guy: All yours.
Idiot: WOOOHHAAAA!!! YEEAAHHH!! PEANUT-BEEEER!!
Random Guy: Ok...
Idiot: (Jumps up and down looking for high-fives while spilling peanut-beer everywhere)
Random Guy: Aw man, there's a bunch of peanut shells in my beer. I'm not drinking this shit.
Idiot: Dude, are you not drinking your beer?!?!
Random Guy: Nah. There's peanut shells in it. Why? You want it?
Idiot: Hell yeah, man! I'll take the peanut-beer!
Random Guy: All yours.
Idiot: WOOOHHAAAA!!! YEEAAHHH!! PEANUT-BEEEER!!
Random Guy: Ok...
Idiot: (Jumps up and down looking for high-fives while spilling peanut-beer everywhere)
Football fans
I went to the Bears game yesterday. While I'm not a huge football fan, I do generally enjoy going to the games. However, there are certain fans that just annoy the hell out of me. Surprising, I know. I should also give credit to my girlfriend since some of these are actually her ideas.
1) The Nonsensical Yeller: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!WOOOOOOHAAAAAAA!!!!!" Thanks. I couldn't agree more. Please, continue yelling in my ear; it's really helping me to enjoy the game. Wait...that doesn't sound right. What I think I meant was - sit down and shut the fuck up. Yeah, that definitely sounds more like it.
2) The Coach: This guy feels the need to inform the players and coaches what they did wrong on the last play and what they are going to do wrong on the next play. Listen, I'm sure you were fan-fucking-tastic on your high school football team; but now you're 300 pounds, drunk, and stuck in your seat. Does that tell you something about your play calling abilities? It really should.
3) The Out-of-shape American: Yes, you're fatigued and out of breath walking up the steps to your seat. No, it's not funny or endearing. It's actually pathetic that you can't make it all the way up a set of bleachers without taking a break. By the way, the nachos and beer you're carrying are not helping your case.
4) The Inappropriately Drunk Guy: Inappropriately drunk while sitting quietly minding your own business wouldn't be a problem. The real problem with this guy is that he inevitably turns into a louder, more obnoxious version of the other annoying fans.
5) The Walker: This is the person who spends more time walking around getting food and going to the bathroom than actually watching the game. Listen, every time you walk past me you block my view of what's going on. Sit down in your seat. It's why you bought the ticket in the first place.
6) The High-Fiver: Don't touch me. As long as you don't touch me we'll be fine.
7) The Beer Waster: I know, you want to jump up and down because you're drunk and excited. You know what you should do first, though? Put your beer down.
8) The Insulter: This is the guy who yells "you suck!" or "you're gay!" at everyone wearing the other team's jersey. Punching this guy in the face should be 100% legal.
9) The Guy Who Spilled Cheese On My Girlfriend: He was a combination of several annoying fan types. Obviously, punching this guy in the face should also be 100% legal.
1) The Nonsensical Yeller: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!WOOOOOOHAAAAAAA!!!!!" Thanks. I couldn't agree more. Please, continue yelling in my ear; it's really helping me to enjoy the game. Wait...that doesn't sound right. What I think I meant was - sit down and shut the fuck up. Yeah, that definitely sounds more like it.
2) The Coach: This guy feels the need to inform the players and coaches what they did wrong on the last play and what they are going to do wrong on the next play. Listen, I'm sure you were fan-fucking-tastic on your high school football team; but now you're 300 pounds, drunk, and stuck in your seat. Does that tell you something about your play calling abilities? It really should.
3) The Out-of-shape American: Yes, you're fatigued and out of breath walking up the steps to your seat. No, it's not funny or endearing. It's actually pathetic that you can't make it all the way up a set of bleachers without taking a break. By the way, the nachos and beer you're carrying are not helping your case.
4) The Inappropriately Drunk Guy: Inappropriately drunk while sitting quietly minding your own business wouldn't be a problem. The real problem with this guy is that he inevitably turns into a louder, more obnoxious version of the other annoying fans.
5) The Walker: This is the person who spends more time walking around getting food and going to the bathroom than actually watching the game. Listen, every time you walk past me you block my view of what's going on. Sit down in your seat. It's why you bought the ticket in the first place.
6) The High-Fiver: Don't touch me. As long as you don't touch me we'll be fine.
7) The Beer Waster: I know, you want to jump up and down because you're drunk and excited. You know what you should do first, though? Put your beer down.
8) The Insulter: This is the guy who yells "you suck!" or "you're gay!" at everyone wearing the other team's jersey. Punching this guy in the face should be 100% legal.
9) The Guy Who Spilled Cheese On My Girlfriend: He was a combination of several annoying fan types. Obviously, punching this guy in the face should also be 100% legal.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Gym rage
I'm a stickler for gym etiquette. It's actually very important to me that the weights are re-racked, machines are wiped down, personal space is respected, and a litany of other things that I don't have time to go into right now. If gym etiquette isn't followed, situations like this arise.
Some people at my condo gym are incapable of re-racking their weights after using our only barbell. The time I have to spend cleaning up after them bothers me, but not as much as the fact that our bar has become warped as a result of their negligence. Now, whenever I do a lift, I have to make sure the bar is turned the correct way so that it doesn't flip over and roll out of my hands. This absolutely infuriates me.
Ok, that was all back-story. Recently I've noticed that 125 pounds have been consistently left on the bar. To me, that indicates that the same dick is always leaving weights on the bar, and that Nancy can only bench 125 pounds. I've been working myself into a frenzy over this for the past several weeks, just waiting to meet this pencil-neck to give him a piece of my mind.
This morning I was lifting at a new time and just happened to notice that some guy looked like he had just finished benching 125 pounds. Could this be my guy? Did I catch him red-handed using the bar and leaving the weights? Unfortunately I never actually saw him using the bar and I needed to use it so I unloaded the weights while he was still there, but now I'm on a fucking mission. Next Tuesday I'll be camped out at my gym early just waiting to see what this guy does. I've got my eye on you, Fucko.
Some people at my condo gym are incapable of re-racking their weights after using our only barbell. The time I have to spend cleaning up after them bothers me, but not as much as the fact that our bar has become warped as a result of their negligence. Now, whenever I do a lift, I have to make sure the bar is turned the correct way so that it doesn't flip over and roll out of my hands. This absolutely infuriates me.
This morning I was lifting at a new time and just happened to notice that some guy looked like he had just finished benching 125 pounds. Could this be my guy? Did I catch him red-handed using the bar and leaving the weights? Unfortunately I never actually saw him using the bar and I needed to use it so I unloaded the weights while he was still there, but now I'm on a fucking mission. Next Tuesday I'll be camped out at my gym early just waiting to see what this guy does. I've got my eye on you, Fucko.
Job of the day
Here's an excerpt from a job posting I think I'll respond to. I'm positive I meet at least two of their requirements. I'll let you decide which two.
Job Classification: Research and Grants CoordinatorPeople are idiots.
Reports To: Director of Development – Donor and Community Relations
• Bachelors degree
• Minimum of 2 years experience researching foundation or corporate donor prospects and preparing grant proposals for submission to foundation or corporate donors
• While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to talk and hear.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Idiots (Update)
I just received a call from Idiot #1 who still can't figure out how to do what I asked. I'm so sorry I was such an annoyance to you, Idiot #1. What a burden it must be to have to follow simple instructions.
By the way, not only does she come across as dumb in her emails, she even sounds dumb...and fat. Yeah. She's definitely dumb and fat.
By the way, not only does she come across as dumb in her emails, she even sounds dumb...and fat. Yeah. She's definitely dumb and fat.
Idiots
You know how, when you forward or reply to an email, the person you sent it to can read all of the previous emails involved in the exchange even if they weren't originally a part of the conversation? Some people haven't figured that out. Here's a summary of an email exchange that someone sent me today:
Me: Could you sign some legal documents?
Idiot #1: No. You have the wrong name on them. It's actually Idiot #2 who should sign them.
Me: Sorry. Our client has you listed. I'll change it and send it to him. What's his position and email?
Idiot #1: He's the agent.
Me: Ok, I guess you're not going to give me his email, so here are the updated documents. Please have him sign and send them back to me.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Thanks for helping with this "mind numbing exercise." Is it just me, or is this guy making something simple very complicated?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): You're welcome. It's not you. He's annoying and is complicating something that should be simple.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Should I follow his instructions about how to send this back or just make up my own way?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): Just make something up and do it that way in addition to the way he said.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Ok. Should I send it or should you?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): I'll do it.
Idiot #1 (to me): Here's what you asked for plus a bunch of crap we made up.
Good work, guys. How is it that I'm the one who can't find a real job?
Me: Could you sign some legal documents?
Idiot #1: No. You have the wrong name on them. It's actually Idiot #2 who should sign them.
Me: Sorry. Our client has you listed. I'll change it and send it to him. What's his position and email?
Idiot #1: He's the agent.
Me: Ok, I guess you're not going to give me his email, so here are the updated documents. Please have him sign and send them back to me.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Thanks for helping with this "mind numbing exercise." Is it just me, or is this guy making something simple very complicated?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): You're welcome. It's not you. He's annoying and is complicating something that should be simple.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Should I follow his instructions about how to send this back or just make up my own way?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): Just make something up and do it that way in addition to the way he said.
Idiot #2 (to Idiot #1): Ok. Should I send it or should you?
Idiot #1 (to Idiot #2): I'll do it.
Idiot #1 (to me): Here's what you asked for plus a bunch of crap we made up.
Good work, guys. How is it that I'm the one who can't find a real job?
Monday, November 2, 2009
Stoner etiquette
Over the weekend I was grocery shopping at Jewel. On the way down one aisle, my way was blocked by a couple who reeked of weed and were in the middle of a lengthy discussion about whether they should get brown sugar & cinnamon or strawberry Pop-Tarts. I politely asked them to move to the side of the aisle so that I could get through and they had the nerve to give me a dirty look.
Fuck you, stoners. I have no problem with you being high and in Jewel, but understand that there's some basic etiquette to be observed. First and foremost, if someone who is not high asks you to do something, you fucking do it. Who do you think is the better judge of whether you're being a jackass? You? Or the sober guy trying to get around you?
The fact that they actually needed that much time to decide on Pop-Tarts was not helping. Brown sugar & cinnamon all the way. That's not something you should even need to think about.
Fuck you, stoners. I have no problem with you being high and in Jewel, but understand that there's some basic etiquette to be observed. First and foremost, if someone who is not high asks you to do something, you fucking do it. Who do you think is the better judge of whether you're being a jackass? You? Or the sober guy trying to get around you?
The fact that they actually needed that much time to decide on Pop-Tarts was not helping. Brown sugar & cinnamon all the way. That's not something you should even need to think about.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Clean it with Febreze
I was watching a Febreze commercial over the weekend and its tag-line was, "Clean it with Febreze." Before I go any further, if you're a person who "cleans" things with Febreze, pay close attention to the next paragraph because your place is disgusting stop reading now so that I don't offend you.
I don't know if you know this or not, but Febreze doesn't actually make anything cleaner. Does it take away odors? Yes. Does that make anything cleaner? No. As someone who has been in apartments that have been "cleaned" with Febreze, I can assure you there is a big difference.
Say, hypothetically, that your dog pees on your carpet. The correct response is to break out some heavy duty cleaner and scrub the hell out of that stain until it's clean. The incorrect response is to squirt Febreze on it. That just temporarily masks the smell of dog piss on your carpet - and that's disgusting.
I don't know if you know this or not, but Febreze doesn't actually make anything cleaner. Does it take away odors? Yes. Does that make anything cleaner? No. As someone who has been in apartments that have been "cleaned" with Febreze, I can assure you there is a big difference.
Say, hypothetically, that your dog pees on your carpet. The correct response is to break out some heavy duty cleaner and scrub the hell out of that stain until it's clean. The incorrect response is to squirt Febreze on it. That just temporarily masks the smell of dog piss on your carpet - and that's disgusting.
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