Just had a talk with Attorney 2 about the possibility of me taking Attorney 4's job when she leaves in July. Essentially, I was told to think about my "commitment level" to this firm and whether this is something I actually want to do. Spoiler alert - it's not.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Nick, if you're the awesome worker you hold yourself out to be, why wouldn't they hire you immediately?" Simple - I've been honest with my boss about my career goals.
Does he know I don't want to do this kind of law? You bet. I've been working here for three years - it's come up. We've actually had lengthy discussions about the fact that I don't think law is right for me, particularly not the law that we practice.* He actually seems to like me more, based on the fact that I have vastly different interests than your average lawyer. Did I anticipate this biting me in the ass? Nope. But, admittedly, I probably should have.
So, I find myself with a bit of a moral dilemma. On one hand, I can try to bullshit my boss by telling him that I see myself spending the next several years of my life at this firm. It would probably land me a job I desperately need (if my boss doesn't see through it), but at what cost? I'd have to lie to Attorney 2 and assuredly piss him off when I quit to take the first better offer I can find.
On the other hand, I could take a somewhat 'in between' option he suggested; where, I wouldn't be an official attorney, but I would get a raise and could, perhaps, handle some things on a contract basis. This option would be crushing for my mental health, as, I assume, I would still be spending a good portion of my day standing in line while some random gets the job that should, rightfully, be mine. However, I wouldn't have to lie to my boss and wouldn't risk burning any bridges if I do happen to find other employment.**
Like I said, I've got a dilemma. Good thing I've got a weekend and a full bottle of Beam to help sort things out.
*I'm actually interested in health law, in case anyone was curious.
**I have a weird thing against lying to people. I blame focusing on ethics with my phil major. I actually wanted to go into medical ethics, at the time.