I'm shortening her story to a few choice quotes. Mainly, because the whole story is ridiculously fact specific, and I don't want her to find out I'm writing about her. Not after hearing this story, at least.
"This was one of those times when I knew I was going to jail. Sometimes you just know."
"I knew what my husband was doin'. But, you don't bring that into my house!"
"She came into my house and, Nick, that's grounds."
"I had to slice them because the knife just wouldn't go in (makes jabbing motions)"
Stories like this one actually brighten up my days. What does that tell you about my days?