Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Fat women + heels = hilarious

Secretary 2 is fat.  (I was going to try to sugar-coat that to sound nicer, but it clearly didn't happen.)

Anyway, she also likes to wear some surprisingly high heels, which provides amusement for me every time she walks by my office.

It's like watching a hippo on stilts.  Funny, but with potentially disastrous consequences.

First of all, it's a precarious balancing act.  While it's hilarious watching Secretary 2 wobble her way across the office, I know there's a pretty good chance she's going to face-plant and break something.  That wouldn't be funny.

Ok, fine, that would still be hilarious.  I don't like her.

Secondly, the amount of pressure on those heels must be huge!  I'm convinced she's going to stab a hole through our floor as she clomps through our office.  Every time she walks on the hardwood, I keep expecting to hear a crunch, followed by a scream, as her heel finally breaks through a board.

Finally, you know how girls always avoid grates in the sidewalk because their heels can get stuck?  I keep picturing it happening to Secretary 2.  I can't help but laugh every time I think of her stuck in a grate.  She'd never be able to get that shoe out!  It would be like a bear trap...but for fat ladies in heels.

1 comment:

  1. It's funny how you tend to alternate posts detailing your own endless humiliations with posts where you viciously humiliate other people in order to make yourself feel better about being a giant fucking loser.

    This could work as a book! Or even better, an e-book!