Wednesday, June 16, 2010

How we do it

Here's how we do court.  Since I was going over anyway, I decided to stay and watch the whole process.

Pre-Court (Specifically, 10:41am)
Attorney 3: Can you do me a HUGE favor?
Me: Sure.
Attorney 3: I'm waiting on one last document from our client, but I need you to come to court with me and file these affirmative defenses before our case is up.
Me: No problem.  When is this case up?
Attorney 3: 11:00am.  I'm hoping we get that document in the next five minutes.

Me: Here's a copy of our affirmative defenses.
Opposing Counsel: Is this a date stamp from two minutes ago?
Me: Of course not.  Who would do that?

Judge: Let's talk jury instructions.
Opposing Counsel: Ok.
Attorney 3: Um, you never gave those to us.
Opposing Counsel: Yes, we did.  I gave them to Attorney 2 the last time we were in court.  Did he not give those to you?  Here's an extra copy.
Attorney 3: Oh, of course.  I've totally seen these before.

Attorney 3: I'm going to kill Attorney 2