Updates

One of my more productive updates posts, I suppose:

1) I still haven't heard back about the job interview from a couple weeks ago.  I sent a followup email to the guy and left him a voicemail a couple of days ago, but I haven't heard anything.  I don't think this is a good sign.

2) Luckily, I have another job interview on Monday.  It's with a smaller firm and, again, it sounds pretty similar to what I do now, so I think I have a shot.

3) The "lawyer work" I'm doing required that I write an email summarizing my findings.  I'm not accustomed to putting this much thought into my job.

4) Just signed up for a new round of French.  I'm actually getting better!

5) I got through the first round of cuts for a job I applied for with the city.  At the end of September, I need to pick up a packet to do a research project and then there's an oral exam at the end of October.  Based on the projected salary, I'm WAY out of my league, but it never hurts to try.

6) Creepo recently got married and the unlucky lady is visiting our office today.  Oh my god, she just walked in!  Hang on...I will be damned.  She's not horribly unattractive.  He must be even richer than I had thought.  Ugh, they had a pregnancy scare and are seriously telling my boss about it.  I need to go be somewhere else.

Dead sexy

Creepo is in the office today and is looking awesome.  I'm going to liken it to a combination between a smurf and a red M&M.

He's wearing sneakers, smurf-blue sweatpants (which stop slightly higher than his ankle), and a red t-shirt.

Also, he has skinny legs and a hugely fat torso, so the top portion actually does look like an M&M.

It's an interesting look.

Thanks for nothing

Creepo got all of the attorneys in my office champagne for Christmas.  Somehow, Secretary 1 and I were left off of his list.  There must have been some mistake.

Creepo must have forgotten how well I pick up his salad and iced tea from Salad Spinners every time he's in our office.  Perhaps he doesn't realize that I'm the one who has to file all of his bullshit lawsuits.  Maybe Creepo also forgot the important role Secretary 1 plays in helping my boss dodge his phone calls.  Whatever the reason, we were not deemed worthy of receiving a bottle of champagne.

So, Creepo, Secretary 1 and I would like to tell you to go fuck yourself this Christmas.  We hope Santa gave you a lump of coal and then berated you for filing numerous retaliatory lawsuits.

Law Rant Part VII

After paying my fee of $105 to the ARDC, I am officially still going to be a fully licensed, underemployed attorney in 2010.  Forgive me if I don't seem overly enthusiastic, but I just paid another fee to remain underemployed.  Not exactly how I saw my life going, to say the least.

Ok, in the spirit of the holidays, I'm going to take a minute to look on the bright side of remaining a licensed attorney:
1) I'll get a new ID card.
2) I can still  tell people I'm licensed to practice law.
3) I can still get into the Daley Center without going through the metal detectors.
4) If a legal job happens to come my way, I can take it without lying about my credentials.
5) I was feeling way too rich having that extra $105 just laying around.  I probably needed to be taken down a peg.

I was honestly hoping to get a solid ten reasons in, but I think you can tell I was stretching for five.  If anyone else can come up with any, I'd love to hear them.  Anyway, I'm off to pick up lunch for Creepo and Attorney 3.

Always entertaining

Creepo, the client I introduced in an earlier post, is back in our office today.  During his meeting with my boss, I overheard this gem:

That cock-sucker judge kicked me out of court and I don't give a fuck.  That rat-bastard is the problem.  Thank god I controlled myself as well as I did.

From what I've witnessed, getting kicked out of court is about the equivalent of getting suspended in middle school.  Namely, a) You've proven yourself to be a trouble-making dumbass on several previous occasions; b) Having you around is making the other children harder to deal with; and c) You're most recent behavior was so out of line that any ramifications of kicking you out are completely worth it just to have you gone for a while.

Intro to Creepo

We have a client who I'm going to refer to as Creepo.  He's fat, dirty, loud, abrasive, vulgar, and apparently rich because he's one of our biggest clients.  I had just put him in our conference room when I noticed what could only be a homeless man reading a newspaper at our front desk.  Obviously curious as to why a homeless man was pretending to read while stinking up our lobby, I approached him with the question.

It would appear that the smelly, homeless gentleman is actually Creepo's "driver."  I'll admit, that should not have surprised me.  I can't even hazard a guess as to what kind of ramshackle, piece-of-shit car they must have driven to our office in....watch it be a Bentley.

P.S.: I'm pretty sure my next project for the day is going to be picking up lunch for Creepo and my boss.  I love my life.  I just love it.