Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Today, Attorney 4 and I got schooled by Secretary 2.  Schooled badly.

Me: Um, I'm filing this "amended complaint" for you.  Do we need to pay for this?
Attorney 4: I guess so.
Me: Ok, is this date right?
Attorney 4: No...I think we need to do the date on the order.  Are we serving the attorney?
Me: Oh!  Good idea.  Completely forgot about that.  Wait, am I still serving the guy the attorney represents?
Attorney 4: I don't think so.  I mean, that's why he has a lawyer, right?
Me: Makes sense.  But, the date on the order doesn't give us enough time to serve the lawyer.
Attorney 4: Oh, you're right.  How does that work?
Me: Um...
Secretary 2: Actually, you fucking retards, since this is an amended complaint, you don't need to pay for it.  And, the lawyer is the ONLY person who's going to get this.  You don't need to serve anyone through the sheriff, we'll just mail it to him.  Just give me the complaint, I'll make the notice and we can do it tomorrow.
Me & Attorney 4: Really?!?!
Secretary 2: Yes.  Just give me the complaint.  You idiots.

I'll be the first to admit that I know absolutely nothing about the practice of law.  Today, however, confirmed that I don't even want to know how to do half of this lawyer stuff.

I mean really, do I want to learn how to file an amended complaint?  Not at all.  Will I ever want to know how the difference between the different motions to dismiss?  Doubt it.  Am I ever going to be able to cite statutes by memory?  Nope.  Do do I foresee caring about any of the other tedious and arbitrary details you allegedly need to know in order to engage in the practice of law?  Not in a million years.

This does not bode well for my future in the profession.


  1. Ever hear of the Rules of Civil Procedure. You and the other attorney might want to read them.

  2. Read your state's court rules. And don't mistreat or piss that secretary off. When I started out, my legal secretary had 20 years of legal experience. Sad to say but in many ways, she taught me more about the practice of law than my three years at law school. Also she gave good backrubs but that's a tale for another day.

  3. My first secretary has been working for law firms since before I was born. She saved my life (and taught me everything I learned in the first two years). It's a little bit humbling to think about, really.

  4. Federal Rules of what? Now you're just making things up.