Entertaining conversation

Last night, my dad took me to a big event at a fancy club he's a member of in Chicago.  Overall, the event was awesome and made me realize how networking is done.  Seriously, these fancy clubs make all of those stupid CBA events look like child's-play.  But, regardless of how many rich big-shots you're hanging out with, you've got to keep a few idiots around to keep things entertaining.

Here's a conversation I overheard in the restroom.  One guy is washing his tie in the sink, the other guy is giving commentary while using the urinal.  They do not know each other.  They are both drunk.

Sink Guy: I don't know how I got this much sauce on my tie!
Urinal Guy: No, no, no, no.  You don't want to wash that in the sink.
Sink Guy: I have to.  Look at that sauce!
Urinal Guy: (Looks over) No, no, no, no.  I can tell that's a nice tie, man.  Man, you don't wash a nice tie in the sink.
Sink Guy: Well, where should I wash it?  I've gotta use the sink.
Urinal Guy: No, no, no, no.  You dry clean nice ties.  That's a nice tie, man.  I can tell.  Look at that fabric.  Dry clean that tie, man.
Me: You think this is an appropriate time for this conversation?  Really?

Dream

I know some people, like my sister, hate hearing about dreams.  If that's you, stop reading now because I'm about to describe the dream I had last night.

The dream started with me walking into work after filing at the Daley Center.  However, it wasn't our normal office - just some random office space.

Next, I notice that all of the doors to the individual offices are closed.  I open the door to my office and it's being used by Attorney 3, who is in a conference with some random people.  She waves for me to go away.

I ask a secretary what's going on and she says all of the offices are being used.  I eventually sit down in a large conference room with just a phone and some papers on the table in front of me.  (fyi, my real-life office is actually our small conference room)

Then, Attorney 2 walks in and tells me he has some legal work for me to do.  He hands me a book and then leaves.

I spend some time looking at the "legal work" and realize that it's a variant of a "Where's Waldo" book.  I spend some time looking for "Waldo" and then wake up.

Discuss.

Best ringtone ever

I was sitting around this morning, killing time before my interview, when I heard the greatest ringtone ever:
"Excuse me, boss.  You have a text message."

Seriously, that was his ringtone.  How awesome is that?  And, yes, by "awesome" I mean retarded.

I'll post more interview updates later.  I'm a bit busy, having missed most of the last few days of work for job interviews.

One year mark

Ho-ly shit.  I've been blogging for an entire year.

What started out as a way for me to pass time during work has turned into...well...a way for me to pass time during work.  None the less, I'm enjoying it.  I've never really fancied myself much of a writer (still don't, for that matter), but it does feel good to periodically string together coherent sentences, during a day otherwise spent functioning at an 8th grade level.

In honor of a solid year of blogging, I was tempted to do a big "updates" post, encompassing everything that has happened to me in the past year.  Unfortunately, that would send my depression scale off the chart.  So, instead, I've decided to describe some of my actual interests.  I figure it will be a nice, optimistic, break from the usual complaining and it will explain some of the more obscure links on my sidebar. (If the complaining is what you're here for, you might as well stop reading now because things are about to get kind of nerdy and boring.)

Exercise/Martial Arts
I'm an exercise fanatic.  My day isn't complete unless I spend at least half an hour feeling like I'm going to pass out.  I'm also a big enough nerd that I enjoy reading about new (well, new to me) ways of working out. 

Philosophy
Majored in it and actually really liked it.  I know a lot of people think philosophy is pointless, but it legitimately taught me how to think.  My philosophy courses were more valuable to me than 95% of the rest of my education.  Many of my other interests actually stem from my background in philosophy.

Bioethics
This is the area I wanted to get into with my philosophy major and which, I thought, I'd be able to do with a law degree.  As it turns out, regardless of what you study, having a career in bioethics is about as likely as having a unicorn take you to work in the morning.  Maybe you can pull it off as a part-time gig, but don't bet on it.  That being said, I still like to read up on bioethics issues.  It's the only aspect of law I've ever found interesting.

Cognition & neurology
My philosophy reading eventually branched into some epistemology and also popular science books on cognition and neurology.  I really started to get into it after reading The Brain that Changes Itself, by Norman Doidge.  It's a great book and will give you a new respect for what the brain is capable of.  If I could go back in time, I'd probably pursue a medical degree related to neurology.

Linguistics
I studied some philosophy of language in college and have since been interested in how language works.  It's interesting to think about how words refer to objects, the nature of meaning, how our language is connected to our actual thoughts and assorted other language topics.  I've read a decent amount of philosophy on the subject, but it just dawned on me that linguists might also have a lot to say (I can be a bit slow).  I'm currently reading The Language Instinct, by Steven Pinker, and it's fascinating.

Also, my French teacher has a ridiculous understanding of grammar and it brought to light how little I actually know about my own language, much less French.  So, I'm trying to brush up on some grammar in order better understand how languages work.

That wasn't a comprehensive list, but it gives a pretty good background on some of the things that interest me and why.  If have any suggestions about books and/or articles you think I'd like, feel free to mention them.

The usual complaining will resume next week.

Work projects

I hate it when people use the term "project" at work.  Has anyone ever described legitimately important work as a "project?"  I doubt it.

Generally, you call something a "project" when you're trying to make the work sound better than it is.  For instance, if your boss wants you to organize all of the files in the office, he might come to you and say, "Hey, I've got a project for you to work on."  In this case, and most others, I feel like "project" was used just to avoid the term "bitch work."  That bothers me.

Alternatively, when you do have something important to work on, you never call it a "project."  Instead, you call it what it is.  Like, if you're doing work on an important case, you wouldn't tell someone that you're busy with a work project, you'd tell them that you're "busy preparing a brief for xyz case."

Because of this, I've noticed that I dread people coming into my office with "projects" for me and I completely stop paying attention to people when they start talking about some "project" their busy with at work. 

There's a chance my opinions on this are skewed because of how menial all of my jobs have been.  Thoughts?

Who do you write like?

This is kind of interesting.  Using a few of my blog posts, I write like either Kurt Vonnegut or Davide Foster Wallace.  Accurate or not, it passed some time.

I Write Like

Easter brings out the crazy

A few conversations overheard today at the Recorder's Office:

Me: How was your Easter?
Employee: Fine, fine.  Happy resurrection season to you, counselor!

I've never heard it put that way before.  And, yes, he calls me 'counselor.'  I like it.

Employee 1: How's it going?
Employee 2: Jesus.
Employee 1: Jesus, is right.

Really?  I've been answering that question wrong my whole life.

Employee 1: I just loved that new Tyler Perry movie!
Employee 2: Mmhmm.  Dey's all good movies.

Probably shouldn't even touch this one.

Trouble

An all black penguin?  Are you kidding?  As if normal penguins weren't bad enough, now they're changing colors on us.  This is the last thing we needed.  You'd never see this one coming at night!  It must be the terror of the seas.

I may have a weird thing about penguins.  They're birds that don't fly, yet swim like badasses.  They thrive in cold weather.  They have no fear of humans.  They form elaborate rotating groups to keep warm during extreme cold.  And, they would look essentially the same in black and white.  All in all, one enigma of an animal.

This guy gets it.

Cursive

It drives me crazy when people leave me notes in cursive.  All I want, is to be able to read the note without having to spend any time deciphering what it says.  That's it. 

Conversation of the day

There's a personal trainer I talk to in my gym.  Today I overheard him talking with his client about the current Tiger Woods situation and had to chime in.  Here's the ensuing conversation:

Client: I can't believe Tiger Woods got attacked by his wife.
Trainer: It's not a big deal.  Every guy I know has been attacked by a woman at least once.
Me: Haha.  Man, you are hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Trainer: You've never been attacked by a woman?
Me: Nope.
Trainer: You're hanging out with the wrong women.
Me: Hahaha.  Maybe.

I couldn't agree with him less, but that was an entertaining conversation.

Religion is funny

I thought this was funny.  I saw it on some other guy's blog, so I guess I'll give him some credit.

Not to worry

Here's the title of an article I stumbled upon: Rest Easy. When It Comes to Swine Flu, Your Pet Is Safe.


Oh thank god.  I was so worried. 

Job of the day

Today I saw a guy using a truck, fitted with a snow plow, to eliminate standing pools of rain water.  Let me briefly describe the technique.  First, he would drive around the parking lot until he found an appropriately large puddle.  Then, he would back up, accelerate as fast as possible, and crash into the puddle; thereby splashing most of the water out of the puddle. 

This guy must have won some sort of job lottery.  Seriously, I would pay to have a go at a giant puddle with a snow plow.  I mean, that just has "good time" written all over it.  (There was an actual company logo on his truck, so I know he wasn't just doing this for fun)