What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

I get along with most people.  Seriously, I may come across as a dick in this blog, but there are very few people I legitimately don't get along with.  Secretary 2 is one of those few people.  Her complaining, back-talking, I'm-to-good-for-this-job personality fucking sets me off.

I was going to do a whole post about how I went off on her yesterday, but watching my boss start to lose it this morning was way more entertaining. 

Attorney 2: How are you answering when clients ask you about Attorney 4 (who's last day was yesterday)?
Secretary 2: I'm saying this ____.
Attorney 2: Instead, say this ____.
Secretary 2: I've been doing this for thirteen years.  I know how to respond to clients.
Attorney 2: Is this bitch serious?  That's great, but I'm telling you how I want it to be done.
Secretary 2: I know, but I think the way I'm doing it is essentially the same.
Attorney 2: This bitch IS serious!  It's my firm; you'll do things my way.

The incredulous look in his eye when she back-talks him in front of the entire firm is priceless.  I cannot fucking wait for him to snap.  It's going to be amazing.