Dick move of the day

While most other law firms were off on New Year's Eve, my Dick Boss decided that we had to work; though he did let us leave early.  However - and here comes the dick move - in order to make up the time we'd lose from leaving early, WE HAD TO COME TO WORK EARLY THAT MORNING.

In case you're wondering what the L looks like early in the morning on New Year's Eve, it looks something like this:

Fuck you, Dick Boss.  Fuck.  You.

Long day

Other Associate took the day off today, which just killed my day. 

This is probably as good a time as any to mention that he's pretty much the only saving grace to this job.  He, unlike my dick boss, is willing to help me out when I don't understand things, explains stuff pretty well and offers constructive criticism when I fuck things up.  While I wouldn't describe him as "nice" or "friendly," he does seem to be genuinely concerned with helping me get the hang of things. 

Though, it is very possible he's just sick of people in my position leaving after a couple of months.  The guy seems pretty overwhelmed and I'm sure having to pick up the slack from having four different associated in the past year isn't helping.

This won't end well

My dick boss is really starting to grate on my nerves.  The other day, we got into an argument because I couldn't figure out how he wanted me to respond to some discovery on a credit card case.  Our client hasn't paid on four different credit cards, but I really thought we had some better response than, "Sorry, we don't have any evidence to support our claim because they just plain didn't pay their bills.  We're just trying to postpone this judgment as long as possible."

I was wrong.

Dick boss: Why do you think they didn't pay their bill?
Me: Because they don't have the money.
Dick boss: So, what do you think our defenses are?
Me: I can't think of any. They probably should have paid their bills.
Dick boss: They obviously didn't.  I need you to BE AN ADULT and and actually THINK about this.  What are their defenses?
Me: I seriously can't think of any valid defense for not paying your credit card bill.  Did they not get their bill?  Are they in bankruptcy?  Are they claiming they did pay part of it?
Dick boss: NO!  Those aren't defenses!  I need you to THINK!  That's what I'm paying you to do!  WHAT ARE THEIR DEFENSES?!?
Me: I can't think of any! 
Dick Boss: THEY DON'T HAVE ANY DEFENSES!!
Me: SORRY, DICKHEAD, I DIDN'T KNOW THIS WAS A FUCKING TRICK QUESTION!!

Favorite conversations

Here are two of my favorite conversations from the past few days.  The first one is between me and opposing counsel at court.  She was nice and I was just shooting the shit with her after our case was done.

Other lawyer: Oh, you work for ________?
Me: Yeah.  He can be...interesting.
Other lawyer: Haha, yeah, I can't stand him.  Working for him must be "interesting."
Me: Oh, thank god!  I'm not the only one!
Other lawyer: Don't worry.  Just keep your eyes open and something
else will come along.  Don't let him get to you.

It's not just me!

The next conversation is between me and Paralegal.  We went out for happy hour after work on Friday.  When my boss went to the bathroom, we had this conversation.

Paralegal: So, your office is cursed.
Me: Oh?
Paralegal: Yeah.  You're the 4th associate we've had in the past year.
Me: I'd heard rumor of that.  I take it there's some turnover in this office?
Paralegal: Yeah.  So, I'm not going to bother talking to you since I figure you'll be gone in a couple of months.
Me: Haha, okay.
Paralegal: ...
Me: Oh...so...you're serious?
Paralegal: ...
Me: Right...

On the bright side, I suppose this explains why she hasn't been talking to me.

Week 1

So, I'm not a big fan of my new job.  Well, I guess I'm not sure if it's the job I dislike or just my new boss.  He's kind of a prick.  Let me give you the first of many examples.

Monday and Tuesday, everyone was gone except for  me and Office Manager.  Paralegal was on vacation, Other Associate was sick, and my boss was out for a trial.  Monday morning, my boss came in for about half an hour to give me some things to work on, but then I didn't see anyone other than Office Manager until Wednesday morning.

Wednesday afternoon, I go to my boss with my initial drafts and questions about what I was supposed to be doing.  I hadn't done any of these things before, and he knew this, so I thought there would be some leniency when I did them wrong.  Nope.

Boss: THIS IS COMPLETELY WRONG.  WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THE PAST TWO DAYS?!?!
Me: Trying to figure out what you wanted done without any direction whatsoever, asshole!!  Um, working on this.

Yeah, he's a bit of a yeller.  Well, he's more of a "loud talker," but the effect is the same.  He seems pretty upset by the fact that yelling doesn't really phase me, but that's a topic for another day.

First few days

It's been a strange week.  So strange, that I'm actually blogging at home - like I've mentioned, it's oddly cathartic.  Later this week, I'm going to give a day by day breakdown of what's gone down but, for now, suffice it to say that I have no idea what's going on at my new job.

For now, here's the cast of characters at my new job: Me, my boss, the other associate, office manager, paralegal, and the random lady who shows up a few days each week to do filing.  We actually share the office space with a couple of other firms, but they're all pretty anti-social so I don't have much contact with them.  Honestly, my new firm is also pretty anti-social, which has contributed to this being a strange week.

Bear with me, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to call all of the new people.  For some reason, I think "the random lady who shows up a few days each week to do filing" might be a little wordy.

More details to follow this weekend.